Sunday, February 13, 2011

I hate Valentine's Day

Not my usually well-considered post, but one that has to be made.

I absolutely positively and without a doubt hate the bullshit holiday that is yet ANOTHER excuse for horny people to parade their lust around and pretend like they are SOOOO in love, all the while people around them know that someone is a drunk or a drug addict, someone is abusive or multiple-divorced,  someone likes porn more than their partner, and yet, on this one day, they like to pretend they *retch* love each other so much.

Some people are suicidal on Jewish Zombie's fake birthday....but me, I wish for death on this holiest of women's holidays.  Buy her chocolate, buy her jewelry.  Buy her flowers and cards and candy.  If you do, you will get laid.  Don't do it and you are a scumbag.  So, let's be clear:  treat her like a whore (we buy you dinner, candy or flowers and you give it up) and you are a good guy.  Don't treat her like one and you are a loser.  We understand...but don't bitch at us when, next month, we buy you a box of chocolates and then expect you to spread 'em like butter.

Bitter?  Yes.  But I figure a lot of HONEST men share my sentiment.  Sure, there are whipped little wuss-boys who will obey and pretend.  But honesty is the best policy, guys.  Tell her to go fuck herself, because you don't do whores!

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